You feel miserable and you don’t know why.
You feel as though they know what you want but have no way of getting there.
You feel powerless.
You feel frustrated. You feel overwhelmed. You feel lost.
You picked your major thinking you have some idea of what you want to do with the rest of your life but honestly you don’t.
You try to control control control. If I lose ten pounds I’ll definitely be able to get that dude’s attention. If I take that extra class maybe my mom will be proud of me. If I add on that extracurricular activity maybe those people will like me. I have anxiety about everything but if I do x, y, z to control it then maybe it’ll get better.
Need to succeed.
Seeking a vision and a plan for your life.
Discovering the person that you are while seeking acceptance.
Yikes. How do we feel better?
Here’s what you might feel now.
Fear of failure.
Fear of being judged.
It’s okay. We’ve all been there.
First. You need to figure out what is triggering your shitty emotions.
What are your fear based thoughts that are coming into your life on a regular basis?
What are you feeling on a regular basis?
You might think you know but you might not. You might be thinking a thought daily totally subconsciously that is making you feel like GARBAGE.
The day I started observing my thoughts my mind was blown.
Do this without judgement.
Now you’re probably thinking- wait. What are you nuts? After one day of this I learned that I am telling myself I’m overweight every time I sit down in a chair but I’m not supposed to be mad at myself? I know that I’m worth something and that makes me so upset that I treat myself this way. How can I stop it?!?!?!
Okay take a deep breath. Here’s the thing. We ALL have these thoughts.
I honestly don’t care if you’re a spiritual leader or a garbage man. We all have self-sabotaging, destructive, mean thoughts about ourselves. We all have an innate desire to grow and improve and change and we’re subjected daily to people who appear to be perfect in every way shape and form. You can’t open up instagram without seeing someone in a skin tight bikini on a beach sipping a pina colata and in the meantime you’re hunched over a book, with your hair in a VERY messy bun, drooling thinking about your frozen pizza, trying to figure out why you’re doing this to yourself in the first place.
Our brains are trying to protect us. You don’t need to be a psychologist to figure that one out.
We’re programmed to do certain things because our brain will literally default to the easiest thing because simply put, it’s survival mode. We’re in this odd place in evolution where we’ve evolved but still are constantly anxious and thinking we’re doing to die. Omg if I get off the couch and stop watching netflix I will die. If I have to go outside right now and walk to the class with the rude teacher I swear I will die. If I have to write that research paper right now I will die because I have NO IDEA where to start. I want to be in the dance group at school but the girls are so good and will judge me and I might die.
Our brains equate day to day things with fear of DEATH. Hence why you might feel like you’re having panic attacks on a regular basis and would really like that to stop happening. I don’t blame you because it’s a terrible feeling. So let’s get you feeling back on track.
First step. Is observe the thoughts without judgment. Make a physical note every time one comes up. Just walked by a girl with an adorable Kate Spade crossbody bag, a blow out, and size 2 Lululemon pants and now I feel worthless. Okay great. No problem just right it down.
I want you to take some deep breaths and know that this is completely normal. We are always comparing ourselves to others to see how we measure up. We think thoughts like…are we living life correctly? Are we too different? Are we going to stand out enough? Maybe you finally start getting super confident with yourself and then you go towards the total opposite end to get attention through being super different.
That’s the first step, write down your thoughts. Write down your judgments. And we’ll sort it out from there.
Remember you are beyond normal, you are extraordinary and worthy and wonderful and deserve everything you ever want in life.